Week 21, 22, 23- THREE WEEKS OUT And I Need This To Happen ASAP Cause I May Lose My Mind.

All I can say is "Thank God time passes and now I only have 3 weeks left of this training hell." And I'm so thrilled that once again I'll be dining out of tupperware for Thanksgiving....obviously I have no plans. I don't recommend doing a bikini show in the middle of the best food months ever and if Starbucks is sold out of pumpkin scones on Dec 15th I promise I will cry. I have this huge day planned the Sunday after my competition which consists of FOOD all day long, however, I'll probably eat breakfast and then die in the bathroom all day....but one can dream pizookies and pizza and popcorn and candy....ugh, im already getting sick.

I've got everything ready to go for my show just need to finalize a couple things before the 14th. This show has literally cost me like 600 bucks and will probably create a whole bunch of new insecurities and now I'm wondering what the fuck I was thinking......

I've lost 36 pounds in 6 months and I'm in a size 26 jean....I don't think I've ever squeezed my ass into anything smaller than a size 27, but let's be honest...there was some serious muffin top happening under a cute flowy blouse at that time. I've worked my ass off and now I just have to figure out how to maintain a healthy balance cause I know I can't eat like this forever. So, I'll be continuing my blog after the show documenting the "fucked up in the head ex bikini queen who is trying to stay in her 200 dollar size 26 J Brand skinny's".....shit....

For those who are curious about what I'm eating, here is what I ate today:


Breakfast- 1 plain rice cake w/ 1 tbs peanut butter and 1/4 of a banana sliced on top.

Snack- same thing as breakfast.

Snack- 2 oz. chicken, 12 asparagus spears and a plain rice cake.

Lunch- 4 oz chicken, 1/4 c brown rice, 1 c zucchini, 1/2 tbs olive oil.

Snack- Chocolate protein shake, 1/4 c almonds.

Dinner- 6 oz chicken, 1 egg, 1/4 c brown rice, 1 cup zucchini (made a scramble fried rice kinda thing).

1500 Calories
86 g  Fat
73 g Carbs
130 g Protein

Clearly I'm eating for fuel not fun. This is not a diet that someone can do for the rest of their life....I can tell you for sure you don't want to do this! What I've taken from this is that a normal meal plan where I started 6 months ago that included balanced meals that totaled 1700 calories was totally do able. I lost the majority of my weight that way, but to fine tune, or shall I say deplete for this show, I had to cut out dairy, sugar, alcohol, processed foods (other than my rice cakes), and decrease my calories. Now keep in mind I'm working my ass off in the gym and doing 5 days of cardio for an hour on top of it...also not maintainable. Geoff told me that soon I may get to do TWO hours of cardio 5 days a week....oh joy....So, the moral of the story is find something you can realistically work with and prep the shit out of it!! Don't crash diet or eat no carbs or do 7 cardio sessions a week, because you know that shit sucks and you are lying to yourself if you think you're gonna do that for the next 20 years. Prepping for this show has given me a whole new perspective on food and portions and if anything has taught me how to eat and how to prep on Sundays and how if you're not prepared you're screwed and you make bad choices.

Here's to maintaining my poker face when I'm hangry and want to kill someone ;)

3 more weeks bitches!!!!!

Insane Bikini Momma