Week 3...You are such a bitch.

As I sit here journaling my 3rd week, I'm realizing how many more damn weeks I have left of this transformation or maybe I should rename it "new way of life." This week is kind of a bitch, because I'm on my damn period (might be an over share but I'm at a calorie deficit so guess who doesn't give a shit) and I just want a VERY large piece of chocolate cake...ill really take any flavor actually....I may even feel compelled to take one out of the trash if I saw one. And of all nights, the new episode of "Housewives of Orange County" had a scene where they were serving CAKE martinis. Fuck...you.... There were even SPRINKLES on the rim...ugh. And can I just say, that I love how those housewives will drink unlimited glasses of champagne, but won't eat any carbs. Cracks me up.

 I'll move on and share that I survived the need for sugar after having a conversation with my husband about food and "why I feel I need sugar," which by the way, I don't recommend. Geoff and I have lived the last 10 years knowing that I just have no desire to discuss food with him. He is a crazy person who just doesn't love sweets that much. He'll say he does, but people it's just not true. This guy could eat fucking ground turkey tacos, eggs, chicken sausage and potatoes for the rest of his life and be content...... (wait, I take that back, he did eat an entire Costco pecan pie on thanksgiving a few years ago...but that just proves my point! People who don't need sugar are crazy and will end up binging. Rewind blog entry to me wanting trash cake). In the past, if I talked to Geoff about food and didn't make any changes, I would then NOT be allowed to vent, scream and throw my clothes out of the closet if they didn't fit. Anyway, the moral of this long convoluted story is "don't break down and eat trash cake..this urge will go away, you have a goal and my husband is a freak." And as Merrill Norrdin (some fit bitch I know) would say, "nothing tastes as good as strong and fit feels." and I'm pretty confident she's right.

So, lets chat my workout this week at Train Insane Gym...4 days of fun consisting of push press, burpees, double unders, box jumps, toes to bar, wall balls, dead lifts, hang cleans, row machine, running and pull ups  (yes ma'am, this bitch knows how to do a real pull up!..thank you very much). And I also spent a 5th day hiking and 6th day walking around at Disneyland, but I'm pretty sure Geoff would say that doesn't really count :/ (what should count though, is that I packed a lunch for the day and managed to eat clean while watching everyone else eat corn dogs and cotton candy. A small part of me had a sweet craving, but then I noticed the waistline of the people eating those things and I envisioned my future bikini body so I chose to not go there. It was honestly very empowering). You really have no idea what you're capable of until you try..I mean, who would have thought I could master 10 double unders unbroken and a real freakin pull up! I'm just gonna say it....I'm kinda feelin like a stud. Now, just a little advice for any young people reading this, instead of getting felt up behind your high school gym (hypothetically speaking of course) you should join a jump rope team....you never know how it can change your life later (well, at least keep you from looking like a cutter with jump rope slash marks on your arms).

On another note, some big things have happened this week on Facebook. I somehow managed to inspire a few other women to join me in this bikini show journey and as it goes, are inspiring their friends to either do the same or at least get their shit together when it comes to food and fitness....and don't forget what happens when you decide to do a bikini show...that's right! You write a blog! So don't worry about not having enough to do, you can read all of the bikini blog goodness! I mean, if that doesn't make you feel guilty or light a fire under your ass than you're screwed! Natasha (coach at Train Insane) said to me yesterday, "I've figured out the key to every woman getting in shape. You just needed to sign up for a bikini competition." So, feel free to hop on the bikini bandwagon at any time ladies! (but just so you know, we've already reserved our "bikini suit colors," so don't fuck with us...were hungry ;).

As I lie here, watching "Pitch Perfect," while my baby sleeps and Geoff is online doing research for my competition, I have a slight rush of anxiety. And it's not about the food or the workouts or the fact that I wanna look like the picture below and I'm wondering if that's to much to ask, but more about what stripper heels and jewelry I'm gonna buy and how ill find the perfect mermaid hair extensions. Clearly, my priorities are a little fucked up ;)

                                                          Can this be me? PLEASE?!!!


Finally, I'm posting last weeks photo along with this weeks photo to compare (if there even is a comparison yet)....only 5 and a half months to go! FUCK!!!!!

                                                      
                                            June 16th 2013                            June 23rd 2013

                                                         

Insane Bikini Momma